Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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