like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
