I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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