I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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