But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Randomize
