what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
