is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
