I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
