why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
