So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
