I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
