We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
