I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
