We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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