a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
