there's paper in my vomit.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
