butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
