why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
