last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
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