so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize