Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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