East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
