So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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