she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
