You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
