He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
