Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
it's like heaven, but drunker
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
