just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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