I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
