i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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