Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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