i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
