the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
