He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize