just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
