escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
