Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
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