its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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