His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
