champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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