i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize
