Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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