I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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