I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
