A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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