I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
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