I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
