my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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