I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
