I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
