I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Randomize
