Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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