Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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