Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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