I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Randomize
