curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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