And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
