When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
