He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize