At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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