Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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