The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
